Time magazine puts out it’s annual list of banned books, or at least the ten books that pinheads want banned for all sorts of reasons. Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is there. So is Catcher in the Rye, Lolita, and the entire Harry Potter series. But the one that caught my eye was an explanation for Candide by Voltaire, and this is why:

This classic French satire lampoons all things sacred — armies, churches, philosophers, even the doctrine of optimism itself. In search of “the best of all possible worlds,” Voltaire’s ever-hopeful protagonist instead encounters the worst tragedies life has to offer and proceeds to describe each in a rapid, meticulous and matter-of-fact way. The effect is equal parts hilarious and shocking. (Imagine Monty Python circa 1759). The book’s phrase “Let us eat the Jesuit. Let us eat him up!“(shmohawk’s emphasis) became an instant catchphrase.

As a card-carrying Shmohawk, let me say that I see absolutely nothing wrong with harvesting the odd Jesuit every now and then. This book, published 250 years ago, came out when Jesuits were a dime-a-dozen. They roamed like herds of bison across the North American landscape decrying our Indigenous cultures and religions, calling us “savages” and worse, all the while enjoying carnal relations with our women (and not a few children) – all in the name of someone called “gawd.” However, they are now a rather rare occurance – and becoming much harder to find let alone harvest anymore.

So… because I can’t see the harm… holding to the belief that you smokes them if you gots them… and to paraphrase some French queen who lost her head…

Let them eat Jesuit!